As many have probably noticed, there has been an increase in the number of bisexual females in the past several years. Now let me forget for a moment the unbelievably ridiculous double standard that comes along with bisexuality as I recall the countless amount of times I’ve heard said quite ignorantly “if a chick does a chick she’s bi but if a guy does a chick, no turnin’ back man, he’s a homo”. No, I’m setting that annoyance aside to rant about something that’s become much more personal over the past few years.
Some people don’t believe in bisexuality, that it’s just greed or a grace period in which you make up your mind. I’m not quite sure what I believe, after all, most people eventually choose a side when they get married. Even that now has become a gray area as many of these “bisexual” women have chosen to have an open marriage so that they can have their cake and eat out too. What I am sure not to believe, is that the number of genuine bisexuals is really this high. About 70% of the girls and women that I have met in the past four years have identified as bisexual and I believe that only about 18% of those females were bisexual.
The dictionary defines a bisexual as “attracted to both sexes: sexually attracted to both men and women, or engaging in both heterosexual and homosexual activity” but that is just too broad. As Alfred Kinsey had studied, most women are attracted to other women so no one is truly “straight” or “gay”. Why do the labels matter? Society often feels comfortable with labels even if they complain about them, they seem lost without them but take my honest personal need for them: I need to know who my options are. The last comments I’m wanting to read are how we don’t need labels. Okay, rebel, anarchist, you’re unique and want to be better than labels. We’re accustomed to them now, might as well label them properly. The label debate is a whole separate blog (that I doubt I would even bother writing because I feel a strong sense of apathy, is that not an oxymoron? HAHA.)
“Engaging in sex with both genders” is definitely more bisexual but I feel like even that definition needs amending because if “the majority of society isn’t straight”, the “requirements” should be different. I hate to use the word requirements as if I find myself more deserving of the title, it isn’t the case, I just feel like it’s becoming too broad of a category and confusing me.
Let me put it this way, I’ve met four different kinds of “bisexuals” in my life. We have “the fake bisexual” who claims bisexuality for the attention of the men. Most men find the idea of two women together very sexy, so naturally, it definitely gets their attention. I’d like to take a moment to attack that idea itself. The fantasy of two women together is absolutely very attractive but it tends to lose its appeal when the woman you love leaves you for the other woman.
Another one, that goes more by the official definition but I still don’t recognize it as such, is “the uber-sexual” who just loves sex. The uber-sexual (yes I made it up but these are just my titles for the types of girls I’ve run into) just enjoys sexual experience, finds women sexually attractive like most straight women but acts on it. I’ve noticed that these women often too enjoy the attention of men. Most of the uber-sexuals I know will engage in many threesomes. I see many ads on dating sites where the uber-sexuals are seeking out a “sidepiece” to sleep with when they aren’t with their boyfriend/husband.
Most of us probably fall into the category of “the confused” which are those of us who just aren’t sure if we do lean a significant amount into one direction or really do have the feelings for both genders. I know I certainly do, four year struggle.
One that really drives me crazy are “the for nows” who are bisexual for now but know that they could never marry a woman. Why bother?
My definition of a bisexual would be someone that is currently attracted to both sexes, both physically and emotionally, and doesn’t have pre-disposed end to the lifestyle in sight. The dictionary’s definition of bisexual puts each branch into this category so I suppose for now, all of us share the name but I feel that we are so different and I do wish there was a name to be able to differentiate. This was definitely a rant and I’m sure plenty of people don’t agree with me but if you were me, I think you might understand. *Wink*
